Today felt amazing…. besides the fact that we did cardio because I am SO OUTA SHAPE lolll but on the side note I have acomplished some goals that I have been working on lately. First is I finally made something and had the courage to showcase it for submissions whether its good or not I felt confident and comfortable to showcase, thanks especially to Erik for collabing with me aswell ! Then had auditions for Royce’s piece and I also made that which has been my goal since like the beginning process of Prelude, my goal was to make it into one of Royce’s piece and I finally did. When he said I made it the sense of accomplishment literally hit through my entire body because for not making it into breakthrough and making it during my redemption, it felt amazing. NTS that I shouldn’t give up and keep going because sometimes when second chances come your way thats when its your time to shine and show off that you didnt just stop there. Lastly I am in 3 pieces, unless I get cut out for austin’s piece which I actually don’t know if I do or not but we’ll see. But as of right now, I AM in 3 pieces and another goal of mine after Prelude was to make it into 3 or more pieces and I finally made it. It may seem silly to others but these small little goals just push me a step further away to my big goal and I just know that I’m going to get there step by step eventually reaching the top. So for right now, I’m going to just retain all the info, critiques, and everything that I can learn and apply it to the future. I can only go up if I keep up the hard work. Aggggh ! I feel grateful.
I hate that I feel this way lately. This is definitely not healthy and it just makes my life feel like a piece of shit. I hate that I’m weak but I can’t help it when i’ve been through depression before and when times like this occurs it just brings me back. It sucks right now but I know everything will get better, just in time…. i just hope that time is soon.